doctor nick

11 Novembre 2008
Mardi

I just wrote a short essay in French. I read it out loud to myself to practice French pronunciation and realized if I spoke French as well as I could write it, I would quickly become an asshole or a smartass.

I was supposed to pick a topic to write about…anything I wanted. I could write about cinema, I could write about Paris, I could write about being homesick, I could write about French bureaucracy, music, anything at all. Instead, I wrote about my experience in a Laundromat. It read exactly how I would write it here in my own personal blog…full of smartass quips and observations that I usually like to keep to my friends or myself. Definitely not my teachers, if I can help it. I’d rewrite the whole thing, but since I made myself laugh writing it, I’ll just turn it in anyway.

I went to IKEA today with some friends and purchased a charming alarm clock to be used in my movie. When I unwrapped it inside my house and wound it, the alarm went off and I think I must have peed my pants. It was loud and obnoxious, the kind of bell real old alarms used to make only to be replaced by the generic NOKIA ringtone. It’s incessant ticking started to drive me insane, so I stuffed it into a closet in the hallway. As I ate dinner, it rang and rang and rang. I tried to disable it, turning screws and winding things every which way, and hid it in the back of my closet behind paper towels and laundry detergent, and ordered it to never ring again. It meekly ticked back, cowering over my dominance.

10 minutes later it went off again, its ring permeating through all the shit I put in front of it. It didn’t muffle the sound at all, and somehow managed to amplify the sound waves. At this point I would just break the damn thing, but I need it for my movie. I cut some cardboard from its packaging and wrapped it around the little hammer that rings the bells. I do not tolerate insubordination, I told it as it cowered back into the closet like a shamed tranny.

15 Novembre 2008

I had written a very long and arduous entry and went back and deleted it. It was too angsty. In short, my student status is threatened because of the lack of communication between my bank and EICAR, about my loan not being allowed, and my family and I having to come up with 6100 euros by December 1st or else I’m getting the boot from EICAR.

Today I waited at a phone boutique for 2 hours. I didn’t really complain nor can I complain…there were lots of people. But when I was finally helped, a whole slew of French customers stared voicing their complaints incredibly loudly, even after crowds have died down.

As much as I love them and their country, I just don’t understand the French. They’re quick to complain and voice their outrage, but when the tables are turned they do the same thing to customers. Many people were yelling what a terrible service this or that is, they wanted to talk to managers, etc. etc. Come on now. I get that kind of service everywhere. It’s fine to complain when the situation calls for it, I understand that. Why is it then that nobody ever learns? Nobody ever thinks, “Man, service sucks. Paperwork sucks. From now on, when I’m behind the desk, when I’m working, I’m going to avoid this situation and make sure the service I work for isn’t bad.”

No. They work just as slowly, impatiently, and poorly. For the first time ever, I can say America totally trumps France in this department. Shit got done. Customer service was mostly great. Paperwork was way easier. Nobody ever wants to do more than they have to do to make things easier here. End rant.

In other news, I think its great that at most metro stations, they have condom dispensers, and I guess condoms are called “Point Caps.” There’s a smiley face on the machine, which I guess is the usual face one makes when buying condoms at a metro. There’s a delightful prevention of AIDS message on it. Next time I fuck on a metro, I’ll be ready.

21 Novembre 2008
Vendredi

It’s the eve of my first shoot in Paris. I just went through a couple difficult camera/lighting setups with my DP and a friend for 3 hours. It’s the calm before the storm, and all I can think about is, should I eat pizza before I go to bed? And also, why can’t I press the “G” button well on my laptop?

After testing some shots, I’m quite excited about how this film will look. It ain’t got no 35mm adapter sadly, so I feel like I’m moving a step down, but what can you do. While looking for posters/set design stuff, I came across a huge Metropolis poster that I had to have. It’s beautiful, and all it is is a close up of robot Maria. Not exactly the same as my alien/spaceship theme of the movie, but what can you do.

After watching a couple movies in English with French subtitles, I’m under the impression that the French language, however beautiful it sounds, doesn’t seem to be as vast as English. Maybe I just think I’m better than the impeccable French who just slap on a scarf and a jacket and look great, cultured, sophisticated. An American slaps on some sweats and goes to Burger King.

22 Novembre 2008
Samedi

Panic. Pure panic.

Though the shoot today went relatively smoothly, upon playback and capturing, the tape appeared to skip and have odd mosaics. This has never happened before on my trusty DVX. My first thought was “I’m fucked and I may have to reshoot half of the film.” My second thought “I’m never letting anyone borrow my camera when I’m not there again.” My third thought was “Goddammit I need the fucking internet so I can run diagnostics and I need an electronics store to be open, but everything’s closed on Sundays in fucking France.” My fourth thought was “I’m shooting important scenes in the rain, thunder and snow tomorrow. That can’t be good for my camera.”

So I put on my Sherlock Holmes hat and my doctor’s uniform to figure the mystery out. I did what research I could with the manual and help files I already downloaded in the states. Things may not be hopeless. Camera Doctor Nick thinks it’s just the case of dirty heads, which is a result of using tapes the camera isn’t used to, and prolonged use in more extreme weather situations. And considering that we shot things today in somewhat cold weather, and I don’t even know what my friends did with my camera, I figured that’s the culprit. If it is, hopefully I can find a cleaning tape here. My life keeps getting more and more pathetic. I mean the minute I came home today and turned out the light, the light fuse broke. Is there anything that can go right with my life in this country?