pee

i was eating a crepe, minding my own business, waiting for a friend, when suddenly a middle aged homely woman squats and pees on a newsstand in front of me. i looked away and watched peoples' reactions instead, and they glanced at this peeing woman as if they had expected her on their daily walk home.

"ah yes, there's the mailbox, there's the metro station, there's the bus, yup there's the grinning old woman peeing in broad daylight not in a corner but in the middle of the sidewalk, oh and look there's the post office i always pass on the way home."

i like to think about what brought this woman to have no shame. what life has thrown at her to just not give a fuck anymore. and then i come home to my broken phone, expensive internet that sucks, financial letters about misplaced loans, misplaced social security papers, american student loan letters, etc, and i realized maybe it's not a question about shame at all. maybe it's all about pride.

"FUCK YOU, FRANCE," this woman says as she pees all over it. "This is what i think of you and your hardship, your unfriendly people, and your backwards bureaucracy. Fuuuuck youuu." She stands back up and slips her soiled panties back on, then gallops across the street.

and i continue eating my crepe wondering: one day, will i stand beside her, pissing in shame or pride?