something more

i'm still trying to figure out a common thread linking people i like and admire, friends, etc. i positioned myself outside looking into starbucks, quietly giggling over a sedaris novel and sipping on overpriced coffee. i had the perfect perspective of 2 extremely studious and attractive college students.

back in fresno, this type of people stick out like a sore thumb. they were put together well, smiling, and extraordinarly attentive to their work. the boy was tutoring the girl. yes i was creepy and, in between paragraphs, i paused to look at their progress. they were studying for what i assume can be law, with the stacks of books and dense reading material.

i want to surround myself with people who want more out of life. who have a spark or ambition. ambition is the biggest draw to me. realistic ambition and action is even better. i like people that take that extra step out of their comfort zone to take risks. even if it's little. even if it's leaving to a new town to escape, to start anew. to me it's a realization and perspective and a desire to get more out of life. to grow and better oneself. to settle for mediocrity is so disappointing to me, but i understand mediocrity is easily interchangable for comfort.

there comes a point when someone has found what they want and they just try to solidify it, and kudos to them. but i would argue that most people haven't found that, and i admire when they keep looking, keep trying, and keep growing.

i left after just one chapter to continue work on my documentary. i knew i'd never see these students again. i imagined myself chiming in on whatever conversation they had, finding fleeting friends for my 2 weeks left in america, leaving my number. all creepy like that. but i already regret leaving and not even making the effort of communication.

i went out of my way this summer to step past a social ineptitude and introduce myself to someone i found incredibly interesting, and it was worth it. come france, i better do it more. i'm blessed with this opportunity to start anew while persuing something i'm in love with. and i'm extremely excited to surround myself with people just as stupid and ambitious as i am.